Bye Bye Doormie!

Well today was officially the Dormouse's last day.

Kind of rough as we were as busy as always - we never really got to sit and enjoy our last lunch together. Tomorrow she starts at the elementary school. I wish her all the luck in the world. I will miss her terribly but at the same time I am happy she was able to get the heck out of Wonderland. Since I last wrote, let's just say Wonderland has gone from mad to insane!

Where Are You Going? Where Have You Been?

I think I am at that point in my life. You know the one? Where your just not sure if the choices you made in life were all the right ones?

WARNING: This will probably be one of those whiner moments that happen frequently inside the blogging world!

It's not that I don't like my life; I do. I just can't stand parts of it.

Work: I am not sure what to do about work. In the past, I never questioned my job. I loved it. While there were things I didn't enjoy, for the most part I actually looked forward to going to work every day. Work was fun. I enjoyed the people I worked with. I enjoyed the kids. I enjoyed the books. Now it has become a chore. Now I know this is true for many people and I should just sucked it up but I am having a really difficult time doing that. I WANT to enjoy my job. The love affair is over.

Marriage: I love my husband but I think we are facing a rut. Part of the difficulty is me. I know that. It's not easy to live with me and all my "baggage" - which includes an insane family, The Red King in all his glory, and a complicated but caring "college" roommate. Now, I've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. While giving the "baggage" a name doesn't change that I have always been like that, I guess I just long for a little more support from him. Now that we know there IS a problem, I am trying really hard to work on it. I don't feel as if there is much "change" on his end. I know that he refuses to treat me differently and I guess that's a good thing. Still, I'm not sure.

Cindy's wedding: This is not something I am dissatisfied with. I am excited for her and glad to be a part. I wish I had been able to be there for her more during the events leading to this happy day. I wish she was closer. I do miss her. In fact, this category should be -

Friends: I wish I had my closest friends closer - I mean in distance. We are all so spread out, and life just keeps stepping in to make us busy. Yes, we have our online time playing COH. For that I am thankful, but even that has been far apart lately. Again, life has kept us all busy.

COH: I LOVE this game. In fact, with all the stress in my life right now, sometimes all I can think about is the game. This is a HUGE problem with J. It bothers him that I spend so much time online. It has become more of an issue in our marriage than money ever was. I wish he had some interest outside of me. I guess I should be thankful that after 11 years together he still finds me interesting but you can have too much of a good thing.

Books: Can't believe I am saying this - Don't know and don't care. It's all been crap lately anyway.

Family: I love them. I hate them. I miss them. I think I am home sick.

Maybe it's just depression setting in. Maybe it's an age thing. I don't honestly know. I am past caring, this is what the stress has done to me. It scares me.

Life As We Know It.

So life as I know it has gone to hell in a handbasket. Sometimes stress is the great equalizer and I just can't deal. Here is life so far.

• Cindy's wedding is approaching. This is a good thing, except when you take into account that I was a complete idiot and ordered the wrong size top for my bridesmaid's dress. Crisis was averted. I ended up ordering another top of the rack from California. Now I have never been to California, but my top is a native of. I know she has many people coming and many from far away. I am willing to bet money my top gets to be one of the furthest attendants going to her wedding. LOL. There was panic there, let me assure you. I should have great shoes though.
• Work has been. . .unpleasant. I have never longed for a school year to end so quickly as I am praying for this one to end. Between budget issues and red tape, there aren't enough sick days in a school year.
• My Great-Aunt is in the hospital. I have always had this overwhelming concern about her living alone in Queens. She's 93 years old. About 4 weeks ago, she went missing. She was in the hospital but none of the family knew. She has no children of her own and her husband died back in the late 80s. Her sister, my grandmother, is now living in Florida near my dad and uncle. Grandma has dementia setting in. I worry who will care for our Great-Aunt. Makes me worry about the future. You spend you whole life caring for other people, just to end up alone. She didn't contact anyone because she didn't want to worry us. I don't know. I think I was more worried when we couldn't find her.

Can't wait to put this year behind us.

When It Rains Does It Really Pour?

So the Nor'easter hit us on Sunday, only Cindy would have a fabulous bridal shower in the storm of the season! Everyone got home safe and had a good time. It was the evening hours that seemed to bring the biggest problems. It would of course, because of high tide.

Being in coastal towns, your always a bit aware that flooding may be a problem. Since I grew up in Long Island and now live in Connecticut near the sound, I am always acutely aware of flooding. There were many evacuations in the coastal towns, our town even blew there air sirens. The brook near our home started to fill the park. We even saw a transformer blow near the police station. The whole area on the other side of the park was plunged into darkness. It was so bad, I even got to stay home from work because the town I work in was hit hard. Evacuations and shelters were mandatory in some areas.

One of the hardest hit areas was Westchester County, where our college is located. My sympathies go out to Bo. I realize this must have been a huge headache for her as head of security for the college. She was missed last night while the rest of us played COH and saved the world. (I swear I am not gloating Bo, my thoughts were with you but my gaming addiction runs deep). In fact, I thought of Bo a lot yesterday while we were playing. the Nor'easter may have flooded the college but the shootings at VA Tech also had our thoughts with her. It is almost unfathomable when something like this happens. Of course your thoughts go to the families of the victims. However, at the same time you start to consider the what ifs and the what could be items. You think about and pray for the victims - then say a prayer it's not you or yours. Sounds horrible but I am always amazed at how true it is.

Today is tax day.

It's been so busy a week and it's only Tuesday. Hmmm, makes me wonder what tomorrow will bring. Today, Cindy got her promotion to full time. I am very excited about it for her. Yet, again, I realize we are selfish beings by nature. With K and her new jobs, now Cindy. Whomever will be there to save the world with me? *Shudder* I may have to join pick-up teams or go outside into the sunlight. Sunlight! I'm a gamer. Sunlight burns. Ahhh. Hiss. This is bad. If I go outside, I might actually like it and remember what life was like before COH. I know Bo will join me but she gets home later. There will be at least 3 hours when I am on my own. I can feel nature calling me even now. I might just have to go for a walk.

All About Cinderella

So today, in the biggest rain storm to hit the northeast in a while, Cinderella had her bridal shower. It was lovely and I absolutely loved seeing her so happy. I think it is just hitting me know that L and her beloved are walking down the isle in little over 2 months. I am so happy for her and kind of teary at the same time. So L has found her nickname in my blog - from now on she will be referred to as Cindy or Cinderella. It fits her. She is a fairytale princess and deserve every fairytale happiness. As a fellow princess, I should know. So now I will recount her fairytale as I know it:

Once upon a time. . .for that's how these things always start. . .there was an exotic beauty from NYC who grew up in a large and wonderfully mixed up family. Warm and extended, this family was her world of values and love. The young princess moved out to Long Island. She gathered more people to her, for it was hard to resist the princess' light. She grew up and went to college. Still the people flocked to her like bees to a hive. Cinderella was beloved and cherished, but alas she was unlucky in love.

Many men fought for Cinderella's attention, there was no lack of knights playing for her attention. Alas, all the dukes, kings, and lords could not give her heart what it needed. There was even one sheriff of Nottingham and a fire resistant pig boy. I know. I was there. These men tried to win her, some succeed. Some lied. Some cheated. Some became boorish and unworthy. Each time Cinderella cried, my heart would break with her and for her. Yet Cinderella is resourceful and strong. She knows that life is not always balls and carriages. Sometimes life is only pumpkins from the garden and broken glass slippers.

Then she received a newsletter and corrected the writer. He was a science fiction prince. He courted her. He wooed her. She fell head over heels. Red envelopes, flowers, and the occasional Godzilla whispered his devotion. I worried at first on her behalf. Could he be as charming as he appeared. Then he asked her to live with him. He took care of her. He took an interest in the things that delighted her. He made an effort to accept all her extended "family", and we are not all that easy to love. He won her heart and then her hand. He won me over. He was the Prince Charming that Cinderella was always looking for. Best of all, he made her happy and in that only fairy tales can be found.

So now, as the weeks to the royal ball count down, I hold my breath as I am honored to witness a storybook romance come to it's next stage. May they live happily ever after.

Hey Cindy! I love you more than you can know babe. Your my dark, beautiful, moonbeam sister and I wish you every happiness. Thank you for letting me be apart of this fairytale.