When You Fall Off the Earth Make Sure You Have A Parachute

Oh where to start? The summer started out so nice and relaxing too. Well, isn't that always the way before reality come crashing down on you?

July 15th, 2006 - The Red King, Minotaur God, and Ralph came up to Connecticut to attend a Renaissance Festival with us. It was much smaller than the one we usually go to in Sterling Forest, NY but we had a lot of fun. Follow up ye olde dork fest with some loud karoke and you've got yourself a winner weekend. Arguments about online games ensued - Yes, Minotaur God. I agree your game is cool but I'm telling you that mine is better! If we wanted reality, to quote K, than we'd go into the park and beat people with bats. We don't, so we save the world. You can't beat us so you might as well join us! We finally found a way to get Ralph off the couch but we have a new problem. How do we get him off the porno? Then, when they finally go to leave, K wiggles her nose and breaks a car! Damn girl, I know you love the Red King but he has to go home sometime. Doesn't he?

July 17th, 2006 - Apparently the answer to my last question is NO. The Red King will NEVER go home again because, according to him, K is trying to kill him with her love. In an attempt to wake the Red King, an accomplishment Lewis Carroll was never able to succeed in, K made the Red King swallow his own teeth. That's right. I said swallow, as in consume or choke down. Now I may have had a hand in this but I am denying it as passionately as I denied biting his forehead 20 years ago. Anyway, after rushing him to the emergency room, K had to call me in as next of kin. Oh that was fun! The Red King had to stay in the hospital as they attempted to remove his dental bridge from where it had lodged in his throat. There are so many more details I could go into but let us leave it as he was released - missing his four front teeth and owing his soul to the hospital. Welcome to the wonderful world of debt little bro!

July 24th, 2006 - Back to the hospital with the Red King. Man K, you really wanna keep him huh? While going into details would be rude, let's just say there were complications from the week before that Burger King couldn't fix. Let's not talk about it.

July 25th, 2006 - Our one year anniversary of bring Holly home to live with us. What a good puppy she has been! It also means my one year anniversary of this blog has come around. One year of words and fur. . .so much fun.

July 29th, 2006 - J purchased a speed boat from my step-brother. He was cranking to get it into the water!

July 30th, 2006 - L, otherwise known as the Catapiller, had her first bridal meeting. It went very well, although parts were intense. I know her, and Bridezilla isn't really her chosen projection as a bride but I fear some people may cause her to fill that role. K wanted to give her a dead horse and a stick to beat it with! L had to repeat herself so many times that maybe the horse wouldn't be such a bad idea. She might get further with it.

August 1st, 2006 - A group of us went into NY city to Radio City Music Hall for An Evening with Harry, Carrie, and Garp. This was an awesome event any true nerd would have enjoyed! Live readings done by Stephen King, John Irving, and J.K. Rowling. These three never do readings and it was amazing. I think my favorite was Stephen King, because as much as that man scares the Hell out of me - He is an entertaining reader, hysterical. J was a little cranky but what you gonna do?

August 2nd, 2006 - J is upset his boat not working. . .Something about a water pump?

August 4th, 2006 - Boat suppose to be ready. See above for why it's not.

August 5th, 2006 - J drives all over Connecticut to get said water pump. Boat repaired and he launches her for a three hour tour. Red King plays Gilligan to J's Skipper while K and I go along for the ride.

August 6th, 2006 - J's brother, sister-in-law, and their young son, (let's call them the Walrus, the Carpenter and an oyster shall we) join J and I on a boat trip. They show us a cove called the Sand Hole located in Port Jeff, NY. It's an inlet people, come on and call it what it is. Fancy names! It's still an inlet!

Summary: Boat $5,000 - Red King's Connecticut Vacation $18,000 - Saving the world (City of Heros) $29.99 for game $15.00 per month - Water pump for afore mentioned boat $300 - An evening of watching people read $ 92.80 per person - Tickets to pretend to be a Merry Man $15.00 per person - Books to keep me occupied $150 - Cost of feeding Red King after Hospital (Pudding, Jello, and Appelsauce. Poor boy!) $130 - Cost to fuel boat's 75 gallon tank $300 - Cost to fuel a car in Connecticut $3.20 per gallon - Cost of trial of World of Warcraft that Minotaur King insisted we try FREE for 10 days $49.99 for game $15.00 per month after that. As you can see by this list I can not afford another MMORPG! - Getting Ralph off our couch PRICELESS.