Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Heat Stroke?

Three weeks ago the Dormouse, spent hours covering each keyboard in the lab with an expensive cover. Condoms for keyboards, the ultimate in protective gear! Within a few days we began to realize that the students were ripping of the covers and tossing them aside. When we confronted the students, we received an interesting answer. "I didn't like it," a student said, "so I took it off." No remorse. No concern. Not even an expression of guilt upon being caught in the act. No, we got a bored expression and the attitude that the destruction was our faulty for annoying the kids with the covers in the first place. Now, without the covers, children have started turning keys up side down and stealing keys from neighboring keyboards. Why do they do this? Why to spell out such side splitting phrases as "TAKE IT UP THE REAR" or "MY MONKEYS LIKE TESTIES". Wow, such elegance and wisdom from our future! Tomorrow's world leaders can use keyboard keys to make out pornographic haikus. I'm just delighted at how bright our future appears from this side of the calendar! Attitudes are flying, learning is being scorned, and teens are sucking face behind the library stacks. Many of the teachers have already flown to Bermuda, at least in their own imaginations. Hell, the kids may be lying on the beach next to them for all I know.

There are many ideas as to why the kids behave this way:
  • "It's spring and children go a little nutty in the spring."

Ok. So it's a hormone thing? Sex, drugs, vandalism, and synapses firing away.

  • "It's the hot weather."

Ah, a form of heat stroke? Global warming getting revenge on us by regressing our youth into dung flinging orangutangs.

  • "There are only 14 days of school left."

As plausible as the other ideas are I really think it comes down to this one. School is almost over and everyone has stopped caring. 14 days of school left, with the last two not really counting anyway because of graduation and tests. It doesn't matter really. The kids will be done in 14 days and they are excited. They are also rude and prone to practical joking in there joyousness. Growing up isn't easy when your an adult, it's harder when your a kid. We put so much pressure on them to get into good colleges and get rewarding careers, but they are only kids. So maybe their not so insane for acting out. Maybe that's the real reason or maybe there isn't one - psychological, biological, or otherwise. I have no answer. I have no winner. I can not collect my $200. Do not pass go, but please get the hell out of the way as the bell is about to ring!

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